Adam smoked weed for the first time in his life on a random Saturday while in college. He woke up and got high with his roommate, who almost immediately left after taking a couple of hits. It was a poorly thought out plan as there was no food in their dorm room. Adam thought about going to the campus convenience store, but he didn’t want anyone to see him in this state. He knew that he could get into big trouble if he were caught walking around, stoned off his ass. Not wanting to risk leaving his room to get food, Adam made a phone call to his friend Tim, hoping the food could come to him. Adam dialed up Tim and waited for what felt like forever before Tim finally picked up.
“What’s up, man?” Tim greeted him over the phone. “Hey. Dude. Can you, like, bring me some food?” asked Adam. “Uh. Sure. Do you wanna meet and grab something or what?” Tim didn’t quite grasp what was going on, so Adam had to spell it out for him. “No. Dude. I’m high.” Adam could hear Tim crack up on the other side of the phone when he said it. “Don’t laugh, man. Just bring me some food.”
Adam then became paranoid as to how he was going to get the food. To get into the dorm hall, you needed a key. Tim did not have a key to the dorm hall, which meant Adam would have to leave his room to let him in, or Tim would have to wait until someone else opened the door so he could sneak in. He told Tim to call him when he was out front, that he would let him in. He didn’t want to risk leaving his room and being seen, but he didn’t have to go far, and he was worried that Tim wouldn’t be able to sneak his way into the building. Even if Tim could get in the dorm hall through someone else, who knows how long it would take. Adam didn’t have the patience to wait around for food.
While Tim was getting food, Adam was searching for a hat. He had four different hats by his bed, but in his stoned state, he felt the need to try all four of them on to see which one he could slant down far enough to cover his eyes. After trying them all on, twice, and slanting the brim down below his eyes, he finally settled on his Yankees ball cap.
After what felt like an hour, Tim sent a text message that simply said, “Outside.”
Adam put on his hat, pushed the brim well below his eyes, and walked out of his room. He took the stairs down to the entrance, keeping his head down the entire time in order to avoid eye contact with anyone he might come across. He opened the door and saw Tim’s shoes.
Tim was laughing as Adam looked up with a big smile and said, “Thanks” as he grabbed the bag. That was it. Adam shut the door and went back up to his room, ready to devour the food that Tim had gifted him.
He opened the bag and found one can of Pringles. “Son of a bitch,” he thought. While disappointed that Tim didn’t bring him the entire store, he quickly at the Pringles, enjoying every bite of what felt like the world’s most delicious delicacy.
Out of Pringles and still high, Adam did the what he felt all stoners did once they ran out of food. He laid in bed, shut his eyes, and took the most amazing nap of his life.